


numb to the feeling (too late to repent)

by lovemarket



Series: Dream Titans [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst and Tragedy, Attempted Murder, Blood and Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heavy Angst, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, Major Character Injury, Very Blurred Line Between Just Friends and We're All Dating (but that's not rly important), Vigilantism, yes five (5) college students own an apartment together please just go with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:20:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25459219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemarket/pseuds/lovemarket
Summary: Donghyuck is just a vigilante. He is never supposed to be a judge, jury and executioner. But everyone makes mistakes.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno/Liu Yang Yang/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Liu Yang Yang
Series: Dream Titans [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1397005
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	numb to the feeling (too late to repent)

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is NOT connected to the previous two in this series.
> 
> i think this fic deals with some pretty heavy stuff like Attempted Murder (its.. in the tags), anxiety, guilt, nightmares, etc. so... you've been warned? if you know that this isn't for you, **Please** don't read. thank you.
> 
> **TRIGGER / CONTENT WARNINGS** (please, skip if you need to)  
> blood & choking mentions:  
> 1\. **He kicks at the back of the woman’s knee, [...]** and ends at **Then everything goes black.**  
>  2\. **Donghyuck can't breathe, [...]** and ends at **Donghyuck wakes up in the middle of the night [...]**
> 
> vomit mentions:  
> 1\. **"Sink—" He warns.** and ends at **He places Donghyuck [...]**.  
> 

It’s only three in the morning. It’s only three in the morning and Donghyuck is not done with patrol yet.

Jaemin is on the other side of the city, finishing up his last sweep with Yangyang. They’ve planned to meet back at this very rooftop before heading over to the safehouse they have not too far from their apartment.

But Yangyang nor Jaemin have come to the rooftop and so that means Donghyuck’s patrol is not done yet. He sighs, perching himself at the ledge. It’s not that crime suddenly stops when they say so, but there has to be a point where the team doesn’t get too invested in their nightlife. They are still college students and they have a life to live outside of the hero stuff. Sometimes the line can get blurred pretty easily, but that’s why they have each other.

The five of them balance each other out and they work as a unit, well into the night and on the streets as well as together as regular college kids trying to get through life as normal young adults. Or about as normal as you can get when one of you has super speed, the other has powers bestowed to them from the Gods, and another has tactile telekinesis, super hearing and super strength plus the ability to fly (Donghyuck and Jaemin? They didn’t get so lucky).

“ _Orphan? You there?_ ”

Donghyuck brings his hand to his comm.-link. “What’s the sitch?” 

“ _Spoiler and I’s ETA is five minutes. Don’t doze off_ ,” Yangyang teases. 

Donghyuck rolls his eyes though he does have to bite back a yawn. He didn’t get much sleep last night, despite it not being his turn for patrol. Too much extra studying. You can never be too prepared for class right? Right?

“Just hurry up,” Donghyuck mumbles, keeping his drooping eyes peeled for a flash of red and yellow on the streets. 

Donghyuck is pretty sure he fell asleep for those split seconds he blinked within the next few minutes. He hasn’t heard from his two teammates in a while, which is a bit worrying since it’s past five minutes and they’re nowhere to be found. He checks in on the comm.-link but gets back static. “Hello? Spoiler? KF?”

Radio silence.

Donghyuck uses his tracker to find their location. Usually this isn’t needed, especially for patrols. Patrols are supposed to be easy. They’re supposed to be quick and, as Yangyang always says, a piece of cake. So what’s different about tonight? Donghyuck doesn’t know but as he swings through the city to find his friends, he knows he’s about to find out.

Donghyuck contemplates contacting Jeno and Renjun but he knows they might be sleeping. Donghyuck knows Jeno is always listening to their heartbeats, for their voices in case worse comes to worst on a mission. But Donghyuck doesn’t have to go that far. Not yet, anyway.

Just as Donghyuck pulls up on Jaemin and Yangyang’s location, one of their voices comes in through the comm.-link. “ _Orphan!_ ” It’s still a bit staticky so Donghyuck tries to answer but he doesn’t think they hear him.

“ _We … middle-aged… bad… suspicious women… intercepted—_ ”

Then he’s met with silence again. Donghyuck is standing across the street from an seemingly empty apartment building. “Too many floors to check on my own. Searching for heat signatures,” Donghyuck mutters to himself. He works better when he talks out loud. 

Five human heat signatures discovered on the basement floor. Since the building was technically still in construction and virtually empty, there most likely were no working elevators yet. Donghyuck lowers himself to the sidewalk with his grappling hook. 

The building is dark, quiet and overall eerie. By now, he should be used to it, trained to not let things get to him so easily but sometimes Donghyuck should be allowed to be a scared kid. Maybe not now though, he reasons with himself, keeping his guard up.

Donghyuck was reluctant as he walked on but then again, what could a group of middle-aged women be doing at half past three in the morning? They should be going through their midlife crisis not becoming criminals. Or was that actually part of going through a midlife crisis? Donghyuck wasn’t sure.

As he continues down the hall he finds Yangyang handcuffed to a pipe. “KF? Kid Flash?”

Yangyang groans, his eyes barely opening. “Out of energy. Can’t run right now,” he huffs, trying to regain his breath. “Spoiler’s… in the basement. Got our asses kicked.” Donghyuck shakes his head. _Even now, Yangyang finds time for jokes_ , he thinks as he picks the lock on his handcuffs. 

Donghyuck leads Yangyang back to the entrance of the building. “I’ll go in to get Spoiler. Just recharge and I’ll let you know when we’re on our way out, ‘kay?”

Yangyang slides down the brick wall and nods. “‘Kay. Be safe.”

Donghyuck heads back into the basement, remembering the path to where he found Yangyang and venturing further. “I know you're here,” He called out, standing in the middle of the room, no weapon in hand.

“You just love to ruin a game of hide and seek, don’t you?” One of the women replied, moving to a different spot. Donghyuck rolled his eyes in annoyance. He doesn’t have time for this. 

“Make this easy for me.” Donghyuck pleads. 

One of the older women hums, “No can do, Orphan. Pay the ransom for your little Spoiler and maybe you’ve got a deal.” 

Donghyuck scowls. “Not gonna happen.” He turns around, facing towards the woman's direction.

He steps forward, pushing himself against the back of his assailant, blocking the attack. “Nice try, honey. You’ll have to be faster than that,” She mutters, letting her free hand effortlessly enter and leave one of the pouches inDonghyuck’s utility belt, taking a knife from the pocket.

_You’ve got to be kidding me._ Donghyuck grunts, dodging a punch to the face, “Give it up!” Donghyuck takes a few steps back to reposition himself and to catch his breath. The other two women had run off, most likely in an attempt to get away before the police arrive.

“I’d be careful if I were you. Wouldn’t want to be on the wrong end of the knife,” the woman antagonizes him, referring to the knife clutched in her right hand. Donghyuck quickly finds the perfect opening and takes advantage of the situation but it doesn’t last for long.

He kicks at the back of the woman’s knee, letting her fall before pulling her by the hair. The woman manages to cut the side of his torso, and not just a tiny scratch as well. The woman pins him down on the concrete, hands around his neck. And then Donghyuck is suffocating. 

Blood is oozing down his side from the gash in his suit, and the weight — the huge, choking weight — on his torso is making his ribs creak dangerously. 

But that doesn’t matter, at least not right now because in this current moment, Donghyuck is suffocating. 

The woman’s fingers pressing on his throat are making it difficult to tell time. It might have been a few seconds, but it feels like it’s been hours, days, weeks.

Reflexive tears are stinging his eyes under the mask. His legs are pinned uselessly beneath the woman. Even if he could— no. He’d still be useless. His left hand, flung out to the side, unable to fend off the woman, fumbles on the ground. Donghyuck is seeing black spots, little stars where there shouldn’t be. He can hear gurgles and whines and dimly registers that they’re his. His lungs are bursting for air. His vision is going darker.

His hand scrabbles, gropes against the pavement. He grabs onto the knife from just a moment earlier.

Through his narrowing scope of vision, with that peculiar sense of calm that immediately follows the panic of impending death, Donghyuck’s eyes slide half-shut. He follows the line of the woman's arms, biceps straining visibly against this jacket, up to the protruding tendons in her throat, the foam against his snarling mouth. 

His eyes close. Using the very last of his strength, he brings his left hand up as quickly as he can, thrusting the knife into his assailant. 

Then everything goes black. 

  
  
  


Donghyuck doesn’t know how long he’s out for. It could’ve been seconds or minutes. When he regains consciousness, he’s not in the basement of that empty apartment building. He’s at home, in their apartment, on a cot.

Donghyuck shoots up, gasping and coughing for air. His chest hurts, his legs hurt, his arms hurt. Quite frankly, his _everywhere_ hurts. “Hey, you’re okay.” A hushed voice that Donghyuck can’t really hear comforts him. 

He sits up a little straighter, ignoring the burn in his muscles. Opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out except another cough that burns his throat. “I think—” Donghyuck starts. His voice is scratchy and shot, it hurts his throat to speak _so bad_ . “ _Sink—_ ” He warns.

In a split second, Donghyuck is in the bathroom, retching into the toilet bowl. He brings his hand to wipe at his mouth but his glove is soaked with blood. It is then that the events of the night come rushing back to him at full force.

He killed someone. 

It’s not confirmed yet. 

But he still _tried_. 

It was in self defense. 

He killed someone. It was in self defense. He—

When Donghyuck finally leans away from the bowl, he’s being hoisted onto his feet, which is definitely a bad idea considering his torso. He hisses, biting his lip to stop himself from crying out in pain and hurting his throat even more. “ _Sorry_ , I’m sorry,” the voice he now recognizes as Yangyang’s apologizes, rushing him back out to the front room.

He places Donghyuck back onto the cot where Jaemin now stands with medical tools. Donghyuck hates getting stitched up and would usually complain about it or do it himself but tonight, he can’t. So instead he watches as Jaemin does it for him. Jaemin stitches better than he usually does anyway. Med students.

There’s a lot Donghyuck wants to say but can’t, both mentally and physically. “She’s in surgery. Critical condition,” Jaemin glances up at Donghyuck for a second before continuing on with his work. “I got to you just in time, after everything went down. Yangyang came back in after resting for a bit. Ran her over to the hospital while the police came in. I took us back home.”

Donghyuck nods. She’s still alive. He isn’t a murderer ( _yet_ ).

Once Jaemin is done with his sutures, he places a large gauze over the wound. Donghyuck sits up, using his arm to nurse his ribs. Nothing that a bunch of painkillers can’t help.

“You'll probably wanna shower now.” Jaemin moves to rest a hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder but he flinches. Hard. Jaemin pulls his hand back reluctantly. He clears his throat. Donghyuck looks away. “Here’s some ointment for the bruises on your neck. Should clear them up and sooth the pain.”

Donghyuck nods and eases himself off the cot, rushing to his room as fast as an injured person can. He sheds himself of the remains of his suit. He’ll have to find a time to wash it when the laundry room is empty. Or he could mix it in with someone else’s laundry. That seems like the better choice.

The water is hot when Donghyuck steps into the shower and he stands under it for a minute. His hands are still shaking.

Donghyuck scrubs at his skin with the washcloth a little harder than he should. The force combined with the hot water makes his skin incredibly red when he finally steps out of the shower, steam all around the bathroom air. He changes into his pajamas quickly and stands in front of his mirror, applying the ointment to his throat as slow as possible.

Unless he suddenly becomes obsessed with turtlenecks, it looks like he’s going to be missing a week or so of classes. How exactly is Donghyuck supposed to write that email? _Good morning professors, I won’t be able to attend lectures or labs this week due to almost dying at the hands of a petty criminal. But I’m fine because I killed her before she killed me._ Donghyuck purses his lips at the thought.

He closes the bathroom door behind him and heads straight for his bed after doing the absolute bare minimum job at drying his hair. Before he can make it there, Renjun knocks on his bedroom door. It’s already open but Donghyuck supposes it’s the thought that counts. He gestures for Renjun to come in, who brings a cup of tea and sets it on Donghyuck’s bedside table.

Donghyuck sits on his bed, tucking his legs in a criss-cross position. He and Renjun sit in silence for a while, only interrupted by their breathing and Donghyuck’s occasional sips on the tea. “Jaem filled me and Jeno in.” Renjun mutters, his fingers running over the duvet.

Donghyuck swallows the last bit of his tea. He lays down and Renjun follows suit.

Renjun runs his finger lightly over the bruises around Donghyuck’s throat, a deep frown etched on his lips. Donghyuck feels like crap, “It was—” Renjun’s gaze flickers up to his and Donghyuck suddenly loses the courage to speak. 

His fingers trail up, resting his hand on Donghyuck’s cheek. “We don’t have to talk about it. Whenever you’re ready, okay?” Renjun whispers, as though any louder would shatter Donghyuck like fragile glass. Maybe that’s exactly how he feels right now.

Donghyuck burrows himself into the covers and into Renjun’s arms, letting sleep take over him.

  
  


_[Donghyuck can’t breathe, the too-big hands around his throat squeezing the life out of him, and he thinks he’s crying, can’t fight back because it’s too much and he can’t move, is paralyzed where he is—_

_He plunges the knife into soft flesh above him. The woman stills, hands going slack, and Donghyuck, gasping, pulls himself out from under her._

_The knife is bloody, his bare hands sticky with red. It leaves a handprint on the jacket as Donghyuck frantically rolls over his victim, and it’s the same woman horribly still, a younger face with blood all around her lips. Her blood is soaking into the denim of Donghyuck’s jeans._

_Donghyuck is hysterical now, begging for someone—anyone’s— help, but no one comes, and Donghyuck’s hands are dripping with a dead woman’s blood and he doesn’t know what to do. He didn’t mean it. Hedidn’tmeanitItwasamistakeAnaccident—_

_Desperate, he looks around for something— anything— to help, when he sees—_

_—they are in a field of corpses. Over there is — Donghyuck chokes on his own sobs — Jaemin. And Yangyang, and Jeno, and Renjun. The rest of his friends. Donghyuck is up and running but all he can see are bloody wounds and dead eyes, and there’s no one around to help._

_He’s tripping over his own feet now, stumbling in the blood-matted grass and ‘no no no no please no, I'm so sorry I never–’ and Donghyuck can’t even move anymore, he falls onto his hands and knees amidst the chaos he created, staring at the bodies of his friends, watching as everything crumbles around him.]_

  
  


Donghyuck wakes up in the middle of the night, thrashing and screaming as much as he could with his broken vocal chords, Renjun is there to calm him down.

Renjun runs his left hand up and down Donghyuck’s back, the other tangled in his hair, hushing him gently. “It’s okay,” he insists. “It’s over now.”

Donghyuck’s lips tremble with sobs desperate to come out from his body but his throat is shot and his eyes are wet with tears. “You’re safe, Donghyuck.”

“I-it was—” Donghyuck sucks in a heavy breath. “A mistake.” He cries, his voice breaking off at the end. He sounds tired and he is. He’s so _tired_.

Renjun frowns towards the doorway where Jaemin, Yangyang and Jeno stand, worried for their friend. “I know. We know it was.”

_It’s over_ , Renjun repeats until Donghyuck’s breathing evens out again and he’s fast asleep. But they all know that this is only the beginning.

  
  


* * *

Donghyuck feels as though his head has been stuffed with cotton balls. 

He sits up and promptly tips back over. He yawns, warm and relaxed, and rolls over, burying himself into the pillow and falling back asleep.

When he wakes the second time, later and better-refreshed, the guilt hits him like a sledgehammer. He forgot.

He almost killed a woman, someone’s daughter or sister or friend, he killed a person, and forgot. It doesn’t matter that it was only for a waking minute, doesn’t matter that he was fuzzy from sleep.

He _forgot_.

He hates himself. He lays there for a while, bringing a hand to his throat. Squeezing gently, his eyes immediately close and his body tenses up from the pain. It’s real, it was never a dream. He hates himself. 

Donghyuck rolls over and when he reaches for his phone, there’s a post-it note on his phone on the screen.

> _Went to class. Will be back after lectures. Your absences have been taken care of. Rest up_
> 
> _ <3 Renjun _

He sets the note back down and glances at his phone. There are texts from his class friends, asking why he didn’t come to lecture and other notifications that he deems unimportant. Donghyuck picks himself up and drags his feet on the floor to the bathroom where he brushes his teeth and applies another coat of ointment onto his throat generously. 

It’s quiet in the apartment when everyone is gone. Mondays and Thursdays are the only times everyone is out of the apartment at the same time. Jaemin and Yangyang don’t get back until late and Jeno is usually around for a few hours in the afternoon before one of his night classes. Renjun finishes up pretty early but his new internship with his Microbiology professor has been cutting into his free time as of late.

Donghyuck peeks his head out his door, just in case someone had stayed behind to watch over him. He doesn’t need anyone to dote on him. How could any of them even want to hang around a- a… Yeah. No. 

There’s a bowl wrapped in aluminum foil on the island that Donghyuck eyes suspiciously. He’s not sure if he’s hungry but if he doesn’t eat it the rest of them will worry. _Why didn’t you eat? Are you alright? What’s wrong?_ Donghyuck doesn’t want to answer any questions.

_Oatmeal_ , Donghyuck frowns at it. The only other person in the apartment that regularly eats oatmeal is Jeno, when he’s too lazy to make something and can’t convince Jaemin to cook for him. At least it’s soft and won’t take too much effort for Donghyuck to swallow. He heats it up and sits in front of the television letting the news go in one ear and out the other as he eats.

By the time he’s done eating, it’s about half past ten in the morning. Donghyuck should have at least an hour or two before Jeno is back from his morning classes so he gets up and starts cleaning. Donghyuck begins in the living room, vacuuming the floor and dusting and wiping surfaces. 

He creeps into Renjun’s room first. His room is always the most clean out of all of them, save for a few sweatshirts that might be strewn on the floor. Donghyuck folds them and sets them in a neat pile at the end of Renjun’s bed before vacuuming. He does the same in Jaemin, Jeno and Yangyang’s rooms, picking up stray clothes and returning them to the corner of the bed. He doesn’t frequent their drawers or closets otherwise he’d put them away himself. 

When all that is over with, Donghyuck retreats to his own bedroom. Now, Donghyuck isn’t a messy person but he certainly doesn’t clean for fun either. In the back of his mind, he knows it’s some kind of coping mechanism but he keeps it there, something to unpack later when he’s in the mood to talk about it. He starts in his own bathroom, scrubbing the tiled floor, the toilet, the shower and everything surrounding it. He cleans the mirror but finds himself standing in front of it when he’s done with the task.

Donghyuck stares into the mirror with a sort of sick curiosity.

He looks the same. Maybe it takes a while before it shows? He looks like regular Donghyuck, with tired circles under his eyes and a blank look on his face.

_Killer_.

(It was an accident.)

Donghyuck peers into his face, the face of a _murderer_ . A _killer_. The face of someone who took a life. 

He feels… nothing.

Numb.

Donghyuck’s mind is racing, he’s so lost in his thoughts ( _killermurdererselfdefensekillermurdererselfdefen-_ ) that he doesn’t hear the front door open. Doesn’t hear his own bedroom door open. Barely registers the footsteps padding towards the bathroom.

“Hyuck?” A hand on his shoulder causes him to practically jump out of his skin, head turning with so much force he just might have given himself whiplash. 

“I-I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jeno apologizes, taking a step back. Donghyuck lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He wonders if Jeno can see it on his face.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “‘S okay. Early?”

Jeno tilts his head in confusion for a moment before understanding. He makes a noise of realization, “Ah, yeah. You know, dismissed early.” He shrugs. Donghyuck knows he’s lying but there’s nothing he can do about it now. “We can wait for Renjun to get back for lunch. He should be finishing up that lab and heading home soon, if you’re not too hungry.”

Jeno looks at Donghyuck as he washes his hands in the kitchen sink. Donghyuck isn’t hungry, hasn’t been since he woke up but he just nods in agreement to his suggestion. He sends Donghyuck a smile, his signature smile filled with sunshine but today, Donghyuck feels a little cloudy.

  
  
  
  


The rest of the day goes by fast though a little awkward. Everyone seems to be walking on eggshells when it comes to Donghyuck and it’s frustrating. _They don’t have to hide how they feel_ , he thinks. He’s sure they don’t want him around anymore, the way they all stare at him and glance every so often when they think he isn’t looking. 

Maybe it’s starting to show now, show what Donghyuck hadn’t seen in the mirror earlier, the face of a… of a—

Jaemin comes home from his last night class, toeing his shoes off by the door. “Honey, I’m home!” He shouts to no one in particular. It’s just clockwork at this point and Donghyuck ignores it in favor of the missed lecture slides in front of him.

Jaemin greets Donghyuck with a peck on the cheek and a “ _hey, handsome_ ” before moving to wash his hands at the kitchen sink. “Doing okay?”

Donghyuck bites his lip, looking up for a second then returning to his work. “Fine.” is what he decides to answer with. It’s quiet for a moment before Jaemin whistles, seemingly impressed.

“If I knew it bothered you that much, I would’ve cleaned up the front room the other day.” 

When Donghyuck doesn’t say anything to that, Jaemin looks around, wide-eyed. “Did you replace the kitchen tile?” He quips, voice lilted with expectation.

“Only cleaned ‘em,” he shrugs, rolling his eyes at Jaemin’s histrionics. Jaemin laughs, nudging Donghyuck’s arm lightly as he passes by the bar. “There you are,” he remarks and retreats to his room for a moment, quick enough that Donghyuck doesn’t get the chance to ask _what is that supposed to mean?_ and long enough for Donghyuck to drop the concern and return his concentration to his laptop.

Back to remembering, obsessing, hating. 

_Back to work._

  
  


* * *

A week passes and there’s no new information on the condition of Zoe Giron, the assailant. Just that she’s still in critical condition after catching an illness from that same night. Donghyuck returns to classes, leaving home earlier than he usually would and returning late, in order to avoid the others for as long as possible. He heads to his room, but has no appetite for the food left on the kitchen island.

He’d spent all day wondering. If anyone could see it. How marked he was, how broken. (He kept checking in every mirror but couldn’t see it yet, _when_ would he see it–) The sort of broken that whispers _murderer_ with every brush of clothing, every time someone says his name. The sort of broken there’s no coming back from.

And every time he closed his eyes, he saw the snarling face of Zoe Giron. Murder victim. The Woman Almost Killed By Orphan.

(It was an accident.)

“Hey, Hyuck,” Yangyang says, from the doorway, and Donghyuck jumps. He thought he’d shut his bedroom door. “We thought we might’ve heard you come in a few minutes ago.” Yangyang leans against the doorway. “Didn’t think you’d be going back to your lectures so soon.”

The bruises on his neck have gotten significantly better, as well as his voice and the aches in his body are almost gone. Still there, but now they’re just manageable. “Covered the bruises with makeup,” Donghyuck hears himself say. 

Yangyang nods. “Well, Renjun is putting on a movie, if you wanna come out and watch.” Yangyang walks away, cracking the door as he leaves.

Donghyuck sighs, staring at his textbook and laptop while running a hand through his hair, contemplating the invitation. He gets up and plops himself on the couch next to Jeno, who offers half of his fuzzy blanket that Donghyuck gratefully drapes over his legs.

It’s Harry Potter, again, and while Yangyang groans and complains that this is probably the millionth time they’ve watched this movie, while Jaemin insists that this is the last time he lets Renjun choose a movie (which is a lie. He’s declared this before and yet, here they are) Donghyuck doesn’t really mind. He’s indifferent towards movies like this so he curls into Jeno’s side while Jaemin, Yangyang and Renjun bicker with each other as the movie switches onto the title screen.

Once Renjun presses play and sticks the remote under his butt out of reach from any of them, Yangyang and Jaemin resign to the fact that they are either going to have to sit through Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for the umpteenth time or go back to their room for the night, it gets quiet.

Donghyuck doesn’t mean to fall asleep, he wasn’t even tired beforehand but Jeno’s shoulder and the fuzzy blanket are much too comfortable combined with the hum of the television.

He wakes up in the dark a little while later, on top of Jeno who has an arm thrown over him. Spongebob is playing on the television now quietly and the rest of the guys must have retreated to their rooms when the movie was over.

“What time is it?” Donghyuck asks, his mind foggy and words coming out slurred from sleep. “Almost two in the morning. You know,” Jeno starts. “I didn’t mind you falling asleep on my shoulder ‘til you started drooling.”

Donghyuck, as tired as he is, finds enough energy in him to roll his eyes at Jeno’s remark. In return, Jeno laughs quietly. “You think you know a guy for seven years then you find out he’s a drooler!” 

Jeno sits up, giving Donghyuck space to wake up a little more. “Couch isn’t comfy,” Donghyuck mutters, leaning back into Jeno but he stands before Donghyuck’s head can hit his shoulder again. Jeno snickers, “You’re not so sharp when you’re half asleep.” 

Donghyuck hums lightly in agreement, squinting absently into the dark room. Embarrassingly, he didn’t think he’d lasted through the opening credits before falling asleep. Jeno folds the throw blanket and places it at the end of the couch, “C'mon, I think it’s bedtime.” 

“Carry me?” Donghyuck smiles tiredly. Jeno laughs. “Using me for my super strength… Just this once, you’re a big kid now, Hyuckie.”

Donghyuck sticks his arms out and Jeno carries him to his room, even pulling Donghyuck’s comforter over his body for him. “Good night.” Jeno smooths out Donghyuck’s messy hair.

As Jeno leaves his room, Donghyuck calls out, “G’morning, Jen.” to him. Jeno smiles, shaking his head as he retreats to his own bed for the rest of the night.

  
  


* * *

Dinner a few nights later and everything after that is a little _much_ for Donghyuck.

The five of them are sitting at the table, eating and talking, though the other four contribute more than Donghyuck does. It’s been a while since that night. His throat has completely healed now and the bruises cleared up thanks to the ointment. Donghyuck is still playing it safe though, and hasn’t been on patrol since then. He’s not entirely sure if he wants to go back.

He knows Jaemin had been the one to frequently visit Zoe Giron’s hospital room and ask the nurses for constant updates. He also knows that Jaemin had gone over there a few days ago, no matter how slick Jaemin thinks he is at trying to keep secrets, and has been waiting for whatever news he had.

The news comes later, while they wash the dishes after dinner.

“The doctors are saying her condition is getting better,” Jaemin mentions, glancing at Donghyuck.

He tenses up. The topic just being sprung on him was not what he expected, thought that maybe Jaemin would ease his way into it but Donghyuck supposes this way is better. Jaemin continues on, “The illness had slowed progress down a bit but now it’s out of her system. She should be waking up soon.”

So, it’s confirmed. Donghyuck didn’t kill her. He’s not a murderer.

He’s not sure if that’s supposed to make him feel any better. He’d still picked up the knife, still used the weapon in a lethal way when there could have been a million other solutions that could have gotten him out of the chokehold.

Donghyuck swallows on nothing before saying what he does next.

“I want to visit her. With you.”

Jaemin’s head shoots up and he looks at Donghyuck with wide eyes. “A-Are you sure? You don’t have to.” He frowns, tilting his head with a bit of confusion.

Donghyuck takes the wet dishes from the clean sink and continues to dry them with the washcloth in his hands. “I’m sure. One hundred percent.”

Jaemin clears his throat, nodding slightly. “Okay.”

They finish the rest of the dishes in silence.

  
  
  
  


Two nights later, Donghyuck accompanies Jaemin to the hospital. Zoe Giron has woken up and her condition is better than before. Somehow, Jaemin had convinced the nurses that he was a family member of Zoe’s and Donghyuck doesn’t question it, knowing that Jaemin has his ways of doing things.

“She’s just fallen asleep so be mindful,” the nurse attending to Giron informs them before letting them in the room. He leaves to give the three privacy.

It’s quiet except for the machines and the light breathing of Zoe Giron.

Donghyuck walks up to the side of her bed. It’s weird to see her like this. Where a few weeks ago she was sitting atop his torso with a crazed look in her eyes, she lays here, on the hospital bed peacefully.

There’s a gauze on the side of her neck, Donghyuck notices. 

He doesn’t really have much to say, didn’t prepare anything to say. Just knew that he needed to come and see her for closure. His eyes are wet with tears and suddenly he’s sniffling, bottom lip trembling.

“We can go now, if you want,” Jaemin whispers to Donghyuck from the doorway. He nods and follows him out of the hospital, walking a few paces behind him.

The drive back is completely silent and Donghyuck stares out the passenger side window, Jaemin’s hand in his, thumb rubbing over his knuckles every so often. It’s completely dark when they get back, having gone after Jaemin’s last night class. The apartment is quiet. Yangyang’s keys and wallet are on the counter, and there’s an empty glass on the kitchen island.

Donghyuck and Jaemin kick their shoes off by the door. Donghyuck drops his keys on the island next to Yangyang’s set, takes off his jacket and walks down the hall to Yangyang’s bedroom.

Yangyang had waited up.

He’s half-dressed on the bed, mostly sideways. He’s down to a t-shirt and pajama pants, thrown blue in the light of the television. He was killing time until he and Jaemin got home, but had fallen asleep while waiting. His mouth is open and he’s snoring a little.

Donghyuck quietly sheds a few layers, swaps out the outfit he wore to classes for a clean white t-shirt and a pair of sweats from Yangyang’s closet. He mutes the television, throwing the room into mostly silence. He crawls carefully atop Yangyang’s bed and gets under the blankets.

He closes his eyes. Holding his breath, he eases under Yangyang’s arm, and prays the movement won’t wake him. 

But then again, Donghyuck has never been good at asking for the things he wants.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i thought it would be fun to try my hand at something like this n since it's my first time, i hope it wasn't too much... i think the end is a bit....... underwhelming? but i hope this was enjoyable?????
> 
> [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/strwbry1204): requests r ok when the acc is on private!
> 
> character key (if u want to read some comics for urself :):  
> donghyuck — orphan / cassandra cain  
> jaemin — spoiler / stephanie brown  
> yangyang — kid flash / bart allen, was referred to as KID FLASH in this fic. throughout DC continuity (pre-reboot, n52 and rebirth), bart uses the IMPULSE and KID FLASH aliases. currently operates under IMPULSE in young justice (2019)  
> jeno — superboy / kon-el  
> renjun — wonder girl / cassie sandsmark


End file.
